btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
