I accidentally had phone sex last night
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
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She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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