why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize