I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
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You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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