The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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