i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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