mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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