My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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