woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
