my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Found your dick twin last night
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
