no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
