I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
