I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
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