I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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