David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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