Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
