Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
