What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize