Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
