If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
