well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize