Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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