we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
