I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
