I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
