im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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