he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
