that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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