We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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