She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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