Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
