am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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