so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
