my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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