She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
