Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
