it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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