Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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