Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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