DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
