That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
