:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
