Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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