you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
