Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
