I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.