So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes