my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
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Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
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Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge