apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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