She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
