i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
