just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
