I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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