you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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