Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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