I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
please come you make the beer taste better
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
