so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
